What are your food rules?
Have you put a lot of restrictions on yourself? Some of the most common are:
no carbs after 7pm;
no eating after 7pm;
fruit only in the morning;
no sugar EVER;
earn your food with exercise;
workout extra hard because you enjoyed food, and so on.
I’m sure you’ve heard many of these and have even included them in your eating plan. I know I have (and sometimes still have those thoughts specifically around “earning” my food). In my Facebook group, Busy Professionals Getting Fit, we just completed a 25 day sugar challenge. I participated too, and I learned a lot things. But what i wanted to share is the difference between restrictions and boundaries specifically when it comes to food.
So what’s the difference?
Restrictions: not allowing yourself to have something for any reason, an allergy, for weight loss, because society says it’s bad.
Boundaries: the area which you work. Allowing yourself to have a sweet treat once a day.
They may seem the same, but the key difference is in the viewpoint. When you restrict, you tell yourself you can’t have it. When you set a boundary, you tell yourself how much of something you can have. One of these is negative and the other is not. One will make you think about that food all the time, the other won’t. It’s really a mindset shift that makes the situation not only doable, but also positive.Hint: we want boundaries.
I started our sugar challenge with the goal of going 95% sugar free.
I knew that 100% was not feasible and would make me want sugar more than if I hadn’t set a goal. Things were going well, and I was sticking to my plan until about day 10. And this time, it actually wasn’t because I started my period. I had been saying no to sweets left and right like a serious badass. Then one day, I said yes and felt guilty. Because even though I told myself I could have some sugar, the way I went about it felt like a restriction. How much was 95% free really? Should I restrict myself more to make sure I hit that? And that restrictive thinking made it even worse. I even opened up and shared with my group. After a weekend and some change of a sugar binge, I had an ah hah moment. I realized that I was trying to be perfect and be a “role model” for the group. But in the process, I felt a lot of pressure and tried to keep my sugar down with restrictive thinking.
I had to get back to me and what works for me. And that is in fact, setting a boundary around sugar. Instead of just focusing on being 95% sugar free, I realized even that was not feasible. But actually, a range (boundary) worked better for me. Anywhere from 80-90% felt comfortable and I didn’t feel I was restricting myself. I also started to tell myself that I can have that muffin or vanilla latte if I want. This solved my problem. When I knew I could have it, I didn’t want it as much. But when I told myself, I shouldn’t have that much, then I wanted it more.
Sound familiar?
What can you do?
Change your thought process (this won’t happen over night). Instead of telling yourself you can’t have something, tell yourself you can if you want. Everything is a choice. See what happens. Set a range and not a specific number to achieve (in other words, allow some flexibility in your thinking). I can’t wait to hear what results you get.
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